As Time Goes By
by ytteb
Summary: A look at what might happen if Dr Bull decided to leave TAC. A friend decides to go check on him and is surprised by what she finds. Probably more about Dr Bull than NCIS. No pairings. One shot.


_AN: I guess there are spoilers for the first season of Bull but nothing major._

"Well, this is different!"

Dr Bull looked up to see who had spoken and smiled as he saw his former – what … employee, co-worker, assistant …? He decided to go for _friend_ and jumped up from his comfy chair to kiss Marissa Morgan's cheek.

"What brings you here, Marissa?" he asked as he gestured towards the chair opposite his.

"I wanted to see how you're doing," she replied absently. She was occupied in looking around the small, slightly shabby room and noting what was familiar and what was different.

"You can take photos later if you want," said Bull mildly.

"I'll take you up on that," said Marissa with a hint of challenge in her voice.

"Wouldn't have said it if I hadn't meant it," said Bull. "Coffee? Or juice … or soda?" He stood up and went to a small refrigerator in a corner. He opened the door to reveal that it was extremely well-stocked.

"Somethings haven't changed," observed Marissa. She saw Bull's raised eyebrow and continued, "You always did insist on lots of food and drink being around. You know, it's a strange thing but since you … left, my string cheese doesn't go missing anymore!"

"No string cheese here," said Bull, "What do you want?"

Marissa settled for a bottle of water. "I guess there's a psychological reason for it," she commented.

"For what?"

"No string cheese. Is it something about food that you've _stolen_ tasting better than food you've bought?"

"Maybe," conceded Bull, "Going back to the days when we had to hunt for our own food. Or scavenge, or forage. There's probably a doctoral student working on that right now. Cookies?" he presented her with a plate of animal cookies, Oreo sandwich and chocolate chip cookies. He grinned when he saw her hesitation.

"I'd forgotten," she said.

"What?"

"The mind games. If I pick an animal cookie, you'll deduce something by how I eat it. If I bite the head off first that'll mean something whereas if I eat the legs first that means something else. What's the significance of how I eat an Oreo? And what does it mean if I choose a chocolate chip?"

"It might mean that you prefer chocolate chip," suggested Bull.

Marissa selected a hippo cookie and bit the head off defiantly.

"Or it may mean that you have homicidal tendencies," said Bull. "Or that you prefer Oreos but are trying to hide the fact."

Marissa laughed.

"Was it really that bad?" asked Bull.

"What?"

"Did you really think I was playing mind games all the time?"

"Are you going to deny it?" said Marissa. "Didn't you ever notice that we all stopped talking about dreams as soon as you came into the room? That we were a completely doodle-free zone? Nobody was about to give you fuel for analysing us!"

"I'm sorry," said Bull.

"Hey," said Marissa penitently, "I didn't mean it."

"Why say it then?"

"OK, I guess it was partly true. But all bosses have their quirks. Yours was just knowing everything that was going on in our minds all the time. We got used to it."

"It really was time for me to go, wasn't it?" said Bull.

"I definitely didn't say that … or mean that," said Marissa. "We miss you. _I_ miss you. Why did you go? I never really understood. And why come here?"

"Back to Kavanaugh, you mean?"

"Yeah."

"Kavanaugh's as much my hometown as anywhere is. And I figure I owe it something. You know, a Bull family _mea culpa_ for what we did to it."

"What your _dad_ did to it," said Marissa firmly, "You were just a kid."

"Still," said Bull, "It seemed a good place to come. Somewhere _where everybody knows your name_."

"You could have just found a bar if you wanted to feel you were in an episode of _Cheers_ ," said Marissa, "You didn't have to come so far."

"Not that far," said Bull, "You'll probably do it there and back in a day."

"I could stay longer," suggested Marissa.

"What about TAC?" asked Bull, "Doesn't that need you?"

"Chunk and Benny are there. Cable and Danny too."

"And the new psychologist? How's she working out?"

"Fine. It's not the same though. We miss you."

"So you said."

"There's no rule about repeating things, is there? Or does repetition suggest something sinister?"

"Not sinister," said Bull, "Unless it suggests early onset Alzheimer's."

"Thanks," said Marissa. "Are you going to explain?"

"I thought I did," said Bull, "I've been gone fifteen months, didn't I tell you all then?"

"Not really," said Marissa. "You said you'd done all you could with TAC, that you were bored and had decided to hand the running of the business over to us."

"I didn't lie," said Bull.

"No," said Marissa, "I don't think I've ever caught you out in an outright lie. But misdirection and half-truths – well, they're your speciality."

"You know," said Bull thoughtfully, "I'd forgotten how persistent you can be."

"Does that mean you're going to tell me the real reason you left?" asked Marissa.

"I guess so. If only because I can't imagine what psychological damage will be caused if your persistence isn't rewarded."

"Go on then," said Marissa.

"I guess saying I was bored was somewhere near the truth," said Bull. "But I was becoming someone I didn't like very much. I began to wonder if I was becoming a sociopath."

"A sociopath! But you're the most empathic person I know. You've built your career on understanding other people's emotions."

"I don't think I was born a sociopath," said Bull. "I began to wonder if I was becoming one. Whether I got so much pleasure in working out what people were feeling and finding how I could _steer_ them in certain directions that perhaps I was losing sight of why I was doing it. That I was beginning to manipulate people simply because I could, that it was becoming a game … and I was forgetting that it was real people who had those feelings I was playing with."

"But we … you … did lots of good," protested Marissa.

"So far," conceded Bull. "But I think we were lucky sometimes. I wanted to win … to be right … so much that there was a danger of my judgement being clouded. You'll admit that I was ruthless sometimes."

"Well," hedged Marissa.

"And you didn't always agree with me," said Bull.

"I guess," said Marissa as she remembered certain episodes where she had remonstrated with her Boss. "But we got good outcomes."

"You've always been kind, Marissa. It's one of the things I love about you but I was walking a thin line and I came to realise I was close to crossing it. And then I had this feeling of having always to be in control. You're not wrong, in the old days a plate of cookies would have given me fifty clues about your behaviour."

"That was endearing … most of the time," said Marissa.

"But not good for me," said Bull. "I set myself up as an alpha male. Hell, even my name fed into that image."

"Jason?" said Marissa innocently.

"Nice one!" said Bull. "You all thought I was always going to be right. That I was always going to pull the rabbit out of the hat. And I began to be afraid …"

"Of what?"

"That one day I would fail … and you would all see through me. See that the idol had feet of clay and I didn't know what I'd do when that happened."

"We always knew you weren't perfect," said Marissa gently. "And perhaps we bought into it too much ourselves. It relieved us of responsibility, made us dependent …"

"So me being me, wasn't good for me or for you," concluded Bull.

"We could have worked through it," said Marissa. "You didn't have to go."

"And then there was my ridiculous life style," said Bull.

"Well," began Marissa.

"The upmarket apartment with no furniture but which had a _climbing wall_! I could have analysed _that_ for hours. I had loads of _things_ but nothing I really wanted. All that money and I didn't know what to do with it."

"You had friends," said Marissa.

"Oh yeah, my friends. Who are all terrified that I was psycho-analysing them all the time?" said Bull.

"We cared," said Marissa.

"Yes, I know. And I mean that. But it was time to go … while I still could. If I'd waited much longer I would have been addicted to the adrenalin rush, to the power … I couldn't have broken away."

"But why come here? Why not do something different but do it in New York?"

"You remember when we came here for the case?"

"Sure. You and Benny came up to look at your cabin when it had been burned down."

"That's right. And I'd forgotten how peaceful it was. I wasn't kidding Benny when I said that it was here that I learned to hike and fish … and live in the woods. I realised how much I missed it. It's a cliché but I realised there was something here that money couldn't buy."

"Money paid for your cabin," Marissa pointed out wryly.

"Not only persistent but heartless as well," said Bull. "Yeah, you're right. I decided to have the cabin rebuilt."

"You could have had a cabin nearer us," said Marissa. " _And_ somewhere that people liked you."

"You know another thing about coming back here for the case?" said Bull. "It was the first time in months that people called me _Jason_."

"I didn't think you wanted people to call you Jason," objected Marissa.

"Yeah, and that's kinda weird too, isn't it? I mean, I know it's not a great name … but still … And Benny, my own brother-in-law called me Bull. What does that mean?"

"I don't know," said Marissa.

"I guess I didn't want people to get too close, too familiar," mused Bull, "But it has kinda odd effect always to have people call you by your surname. Like being in prison."

"Were you that unhappy?" asked Marissa sadly.

"No. Not really but coming here made me realise how rarely people called me by my given name. And I liked it."

"You could've told us to call you Jason," argued Marissa. "You didn't have to move 250 miles."

"I know. But there's something about coming to a place where people remember you from being a child. They certainly don't expect you to be perfect. Hell, they can remember the day that you fell off your bike or farted in church."

"I don't understand."

"They see the whole person, Marissa, they know what lies behind the shiny façade. It's scary but it's sort of comforting as well."

"And are you happy here?" asked Marissa.

"Happier … and getting there," said Bull.

"What are you doing? Is this your office?" Marissa gestured to the walls of the room.

"Yeah. It's convenient, right around from the coffee shop."

"And you're doing trial science here?"

Bull laughed, "No! Don't worry, I haven't set up in competition. I have a few clients … patients who I'm helping. Helping – not manipulating. And I do some work at the hospital in Concord …"

"What do you do there?"

"I help with people recovering from traumatic injuries or illness. You know, the psychology of recovery is fascinating. People go through different phases as they cope with change; I help keep them from giving in."

"Sounds good," said Marissa.

"It is. I'm writing a book on it. And I bake cookies for charity sales, go on hikes, play my guitar … commune with nature. Trying to give something back to Kavanaugh instead of taking. I know it sounds sappy but it's true."

"So, no involvement with trials at all?" said Marissa.

"Well …" Bull was interrupted by a knock on the door followed rapidly by the entry of a man about his own age.

"Bull? I … oh, sorry, I didn't realise you had someone with you."

"Come in," said Bull beckoning to the new arrival. "Marissa, meet Tony DiNozzo. Tony, this is Marissa Morgan."

"Marissa Morgan," said Tony, "Well, Bull didn't do you justice. Pleased to meet you." He held out his hand to be shaken.

"Pleased to meet you too," said Marissa, "But Bull never mentioned you so I can't say if he did you justice or not," she turned to Bull, "I thought you said that people in Kavanaugh call you Jason?"

Tony laughed, "Oh, I know _Jason_ from way back – when he still asked people to call him Bull." He caught sight of the plate of cookies and seized one.

"I guess you're not worried that Bull is going to know why you chose a chocolate chip cookie," teased Marissa as she looked appreciatively at Bull's good-looking friend.

Tony laughed again. "No! He knows that I'd eat the lot. Especially now."

"Now?" asked Marissa.

"Now I have a daughter I'm not so likely to get to the cookie tin before she does. And I have to set a good example."

"You have a daughter?" asked Marissa with a feeling of slight disappointment.

"Long story," said Tony. "Hey, have you _analysed_ why Bull hasn't eaten any cookies?"

"No," said Marissa. "If I'd thought about it I'd have said he hasn't eaten anything because he's afraid I _will_ analyse it."

"Wrong!" crowed Tony, "He's on a diet!"

"And you wonder why I never spoke about you to her," said Bull. "What are you doing here, Tony?"

"I came to buy you a coffee," said Tony.

"And?"

"Well, there might be a case I want to talk to you about," admitted Tony.

"A case?" asked Marissa. "Are you a psychologist too, Mr DiNozzo?"

"Tony, please. No, I'm not a psychologist although I did meet Bull when we were both students."

"We both went to Ohio State," said Bull. "I was doing my bachelors in psychology and Tony was doing it as a minor."

"And Bull was sports mad," added Tony.

"And Tony played varsity football and basketball," said Bull. "I envied him that."

"And I envied him his focus," said Tony.

"I helped him with his minor," said Bull.

"And I helped him with basketball," said Tony. "And we stayed friends."

"And you went into sports?" asked Marissa.

"No. Intended to but life got in the way. No, I went into the police. Ended up as a federal agent working for NCIS. That's …"

"Naval Criminal Investigative Service," said Marissa. "I used to work for Homeland Security. I know all the acronyms."

"I left there a few months ago … when I found out I had a daughter."

"Er … when you _found out_ /" asked Marissa delicately.

"Like I said, a long story. Tali … that's her name, was landed in my lap when she was about two years old. I didn't know what to do when we got back from travelling. Didn't want to go back to NCIS …"

"Why not?" asked Marissa.

"Hey," said Bull, "He's not a client, you know."

"Of course, I'm sorry," said Marissa.

"It's OK," said Tony peaceably, "I don't mind. I didn't think having a daughter … and being a single parent … fitted with the demands of the job."

"And his Boss was a bastard," said Bull.

"Well, yeah, there is that," admitted Tony. "Anyway. I got back to the States and was looking around for something when I saw a vacancy advertised for a sheriff. I decided to apply, got the job and then found that Bull had just moved into town."

"You're a single parent?" said Marissa as she focussed on an area of particular interest.

"That's right," said Tony with a smile. "And you …?"

"Oh, definitely not a single parent," said Marissa hastily.

"Yeah, I guess it's harder for a woman to be a single parent and not know …" said Tony.

"And she's single," said Bull.

"How do you know?" asked Marissa indignantly, "I haven't seen you for months!"

For answer, Bull just looked at her in the old knowing manner and Marissa huffed a laugh which was half irritation and half affectionate amusement.

Tony looked at the two of them and laughed again, "And despite Bull being a citizen of this fine town, I decided to stick around," he said with a straight face.

"Only because you knew I'd be useful," said Bull.

"That's not what I thought when you let Tali eat all those strawberries," countered Tony.

"How was I supposed to know she's allergic?" asked Bull. "And I apologised!"

"True," said Tony, "And admit it, you like being a consultant to the Sheriff's department."

"Consultant?" asked Marissa.

"I get paid in lattes and cappuccinos," said Bull. "I think _consultant_ is too strong a word."

"You love it," said Tony confidently. "Hey, I'll go and get the coffees in. You'll stay, won't you, Marissa?"

Bull and Marissa nodded and Tony hurried out of the room.

"He seems … nice," said Marissa a little wistfully.

"He's one of the good guys," agreed Bull.

"So you two go back a long way?" probed Marissa.

"Yeah. Like we said, similar interests. And we both had dads who wouldn't have won any father of the year awards. We had a lot in common. We went in different directions but we always kept in touch."

"He's very charming," said Marissa.

"You noticed, did you?" said Bull slyly. "He's got good instincts too. He and I used to watch people walking around on campus and take bets about what they were doing. We usually came out equal. I guess that all came in useful with his job."

"There's something a little … wistful about him," mused Marissa.

"And you accuse me of analysing people," complained Bull.

"You must have rubbed off on me. So, am I wrong?" asked Marissa.

Bull hesitated, "No, you're not wrong. He's been through some difficult times. But he's come through and I think he'll be a hit here."

"Good," said Marissa, "I'm glad to think that you've got a friend here. Even if he does call you Bull."

"Let's go and get those coffees," said Bull as he led the way to the shop.

Tony waved and gave them a beaming smile when he saw them at the door. He pulled out a chair for Marissa and gave her another smile.

"Right," said Tony getting down to business, "Someone broke into the bakery last night but the only things missing are a batch of savoury Danish and a bag of powdered sugar. What do you think?"

Marissa sat back and watched as the two men began discussing possible motivations. For the first time since Bull had left New York she felt relaxed about him. She had always thought he was happy in his work in the city but now, looking at him, she could see that he was truly content and fulfilled back in his New Hampshire hometown. And as she looked at Tony DiNozzo, she decided that perhaps she'd be visiting more often.

* * *

 _AN: I liked the idea of Bull and Tony working on cases together … but I'm not sure if I'll ever write anymore in this crossover universe!_


End file.
